Clearest Indication
by Shimegami-chan
Summary: One-shot. After Rockman is deleted, Netto is left alone and hopeless. Can he go on without his partner? Set in the anime/manga continuity, NettoxRock shounen-ai.


Rockman isn't mine. ^_^ Don't sue!  
---------------------------  
  
  
Clearest Indication   
~By Shimegami-chan  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This story takes place in the manga continuim. It's not very far-off from the anime, but there's a major difference from the game--Rock and Netto are not related. (God forbid I write a story without Saito!) It was necessary, as you'll see, if I had followed the game I wouldn't be able to kill Saito without killing Netto too through the link. :) _Clearest Indication_ belongs to Great Big Sea. This is the result of a few days' compilation and stress. This is my first Netto x Rock, and I had a lot of difficulty getting it down the way I wanted to--beware of falling yaoi. XD   
  
  
  
  
---  
  
_You left in the morning  
You left without a word  
Did you get what you came for?  
Is this what I deserve?  
Oh I know  
The silence was the loudest thing  
I've ever heard  
_  
  
----  
  
  
_This wasn't supposed to happen._   
  
In the stories, the heroes all made miraculous recoveries...or were rescued at the last minute by an ally. After all those countless struggles they had endured together, how could it have come down to this? In the games, you could always use a continue, right?   
  
_"People with souls can't be switched off by unplugging a few machines."_   
  
Rock had said that once, when they had first become partners. Netto's perception of a Net Navi was similar to that of mere computer program, not an artificial intelligence.   
  
But now, he was gone. Everything he had said had no meaning now. Netto was left only with his feelings of remorse over the one person that had meant the world to him--his partner.   
  
No--he was more than a partner, even more than a friend...the relationship between himself and Rock had truly been something to treasure. Although Netto could not even touch him, he had loved his Navi more than anyone was supposed to. Especially not a _male_ Navi.   
  
Netto didn't care. What difference did it make to him whether Rock was a boy or a girl? The only barrier between them had been the PET, its clear screen tantalizing each from the other side. But when Netto put his hand on Rock's, he could feel nothing except the hard crystal. All that had stood between him and his friend... All that had stood between him and happiness. Yet, he had managed with what friendship they had, although he had come to desire much more.   
  
And now he had nothing at all.   
  
Could he go on without Rock? Or was it now his destiny to fall slowly into an unrecoverable stupor, friendless, partnerless, and ultimately, alone? The battle that had taken Rock's life had transpired years after he had last seen Meiru or Dekao, setting out on his own for Densan City to get away from the prejudice and alienation he was facing in Akihara. They whispered about him, and he knew it: he had been the one to beat the Life Virus, had rooted out Gospel. He had already been famous before anyone found out about the relationship between him and Rock.   
  
Netto reached over to pick up the beer bottle in front of him and turned it around in his hand. He had once heard a saying: 'In times like these, you must treat your heart as the enemy'. He had never quite fully understood the meaning behind it, until now. Now, for his own future, he had to put the burning desire of a physical relationship with him aside. That, as he was beginning to discover, was the most difficult part of letting go.   
  
That...and the instinct to run back to Akihara and ask his father for assistance. He had recreated Rockman once before, of course…after the battle with the Life Virus. But as a young potential programmer, Netto himself had made many modifications to his Navi's program at Rock's request, ones that Yuuichirou would never be able to duplicate. It was simply not possible to bring him back the way he had been before.   
  
Part of his mind knew the emotional risk of continuing to dwell on the false hope that Rock would suddenly reappear from the void of death, but another part cried out--its voice louder and more pronounced inside his mind--that it was still possible, even with the overwhelming odds that he would face.   
  
He toyed with the idea of letting his father help him but was forced to push the thought aside. It was _better_ this way, letting him go...after all, Netto was getting older, part-way through college now, and whether he liked it or not, Rock wouldn't be there forever. It had been only recently that Netto had been able to help Rock alter his physical appearance, transforming him from a lithe fourteen-year-old into an older version, no more than seventeen, and still slim, almost feminine. Neither of them had really wanted the change, but Rock had insisted, arguing that he wanted to look 'older' for Netto. After all, they were not the same people that they had been when he was fourteen. So much had changed around and between them.   
  
More than friendship...what they wanted could not be possible, not even in this day and age. Too many people believed that Navis were nothing more than programs to keep their records, or tools to fight computer viruses. He had never heard of anyone having a romantic relationship with their Navi, and yet they had persisted. He had only been able to touch the other boy a handful of times, and always in a dire situation. His only forays into the Net had been performed using technology when he was young, and were simply not possible for him anymore. He was physically mature now, and the repressed desire for intimate relations had shot to the surface with unstoppable force, at the exact moment that he had first realized that Rock could never be an option to fulfill that desire upon.   
  
Even so, Netto had never been able to break his attention away from his partner. He had dated girls in his first year of college, and boys during his second, trying to find someone he could be happy with. He could not stop the feeling that he had betrayed Rock somehow, even when doing so at the other's request.   
  
And that was how he had come to this.   
  
~~_  
Where do we stand?  
What am I supposed to do?  
Give me the clearest indication  
I'm not alone with you_  
~~   
  
Glumly the young man shoved his drink aside and pulled the empty PET closer, running his fingers over the clear screen. The terminal had been deactivated since its owner had departed; even the operating system was barely running under normal conditions. He would stand...here. And here, sometimes, one gloved finger scratching his chin. Netto could recall an array of expressions to mind immediately, but the clearest one was always Rock's blush. Another was what Meiru had once dubbed his "angry face," once when she had told him that he and Netto fought like an old married couple. Immediately his cheeks had turned pink and his eye began to twitch, only serving to reinforce her pronouncement.   
  
That was the Rock he saw now in his mind's eye, fourteen once again, glaring good-naturedly at him. "_What are you doing like that, Netto-kun? Cheer up!"_   
  
The vision only angered him. "What were you _thinking_, going off alone like that!?" he shouted helplessly, though the blank screen did not reply. "If I'd been there..."   
  
"If I'd been there...I could have done something, Rock," he whispered. "You waited too long..."   
  
~~_  
Reach out your hand  
In a world I thought I knew  
I need the clearest indication  
The clearest indication from you   
From you_  
~~   
  
Angrily Netto swept the PET off the table, and it fell to the floor with a heart-stopping crash. "Rock..." he whispered hoarsely, "I loved you...please come back..."   
  
The dingy apartment was as still as death. _How fitting,_ the thought bitterly. _How fitting that you should die separated from me, as we were in life.   
  
I'd like to use a continue now, please.   
  
_The brunette staggered to his feet and out the door, leaving the PET where it lay. _Gotta get out of here...away from him...   
  
_He stumbled down the stairs and out into the afternoon sunlight, blinking back tears. He hadn't quite decided where to go yet...maybe to the liquor store, yes, that was a good idea. Something to take the pain away a little longer.   
  
He heard Rock's voice in the back of his mind, lecturing him for drinking so much, but he mentally told it to shut up. "I wouldn't _need_ this if you were here to stop me!" He paused on the sidewalk and looked to the apartment, wondering if he should go back for the PET.   
  
_No_, he decided, _I don't need it anymore._ He continued forward, blinking back tears. The store was close, just on the other side of the street. Over on this side was a Metrorail entrance, his ticket back to Akihara...if so he chose. Netto paused at the station and reached up to touch one of the concrete walls around the steps. He could hear the voices of ghosts in his head, but he dismissed them, the result of days without sleep or food, with only alcohol fueling him. Meiru was there, asking him to come back, and his father...and Rockman. _Please come home._  
  
That last voice was what drove him away from the station. "I'm not going back there, Rock!" he yelled aloud. "Not without you! Not without..."   
  
Hot tears blinded him suddenly, and he stumbled against a traffic controller. "Not without you." Ignoring the red lights and force field, Netto slipped under the barrier and into the street. "I won't go home."   
  
_Is this really what you want?_ Again, his voice! Netto broke into a run, as if to escape. The sound of squealing tires drowned it out and Netto jerked his head up--   
  
A car, impossibly close. _Is this it, Netto-kun!? Tell me!_   
  
Time seemed to freeze around him, a thousand thoughts running through his head. _No,_ Netto sobbed inside his own head. _No, it's not, I want...I want everything like it was before...   
  
Things can't be like that anymore.   
  
I...wanted to be with you...that's all...   
  
_He shut his eyes tightly. "People with souls can't be switched off, Rock."   
  
_Is this what you want, Hikari Netto!?   
  
_The blare of a horn.   
  
_--Yes.   
  
  
  
~  
Reach out your hand  
In a world I thought I knew  
I need the clearest indication  
The clearest--  
  
  
  
------------------------------------  
_


End file.
